How a Merge Would Work

Getting married involves two people coming together, making a pledge that their lives will no longer be apart – but one. They make a vow before God, loved ones and each other that they will do all they can to meet each other’s needs even as they recognize that the other party makes them happy. The wedding, of course, is not the marriage – the marriage happens the day (and into the decades) after.

It requires a few changes in one’s values – things that the other party deems important all of a sudden will become important to you; or at least, because you love the person, you will support your partner in that pursuit of what he/she deems important. You may even find having to adjust the placement of some of your furniture – and yes, even your sleeping habits will change as you try to get some z’s with that snoring partner of yours (and you’ll discover that your partner is also adjusting to your snoring). Practically speaking, you are turning your world upside down for the sake of your spouse. And in the end, all the influence she has on you will change you and turn you into a different person than you would have been if you had never met her. Hopefully, you bring out the best in each other – that’s what a successful marriage is all about.

Now try and apply those principles to a merging of two churches.

Each church has its own way of doing things - its own values, its own priorities and its own needs. So when two organizations merge in order to meet each other’s needs, both must also realize that there are unavoidable changes both should prepare for.

First, one may not have the same values as the other – they may hold some common values, of course, but maybe they tend to express it differently. Both parties will have to be patient with each other as they both learn to do things together. At the beginning, one may not value the same things as the other – but because they are now in a marriage founded on love, they must both submit to each other and vow to support each other in that endeavor. Eventually, because of the relationship, both will soon value what the other values. The one rubs off on the other.

Both will have to be patient, too, in the way the other party serves God. Once again, just like in a marriage, each will have to find time to support the other realizing that it is that activity that makes the other feel fulfilled – and who wants an unfulfilled spouse?

In the end, a merging between two parties does not mean that the personality of the other is smothered by the stronger personality. Rather, just like in a beautiful marriage, the good personality traits of the one should be brought out by the other and even influence the other party towards that good. Just like in marriage, the organization must not think of itself as absorbing another one for the sake of increasing its numbers – but rather, it must give in to the fact that both will be transformed to become a new organization that is equally influenced by both parties. By God’s grace, if the strengths of each are supported and encouraged and developed, it becomes a strength of the whole and just as being married means you are one, so a merging of organizations means that is also your goal.