The Blame Game

I was telling a good friend of mine about the situation we're facing as a faith community. He told me that one of the first things that parties from the original organization will ask me is this: what's wrong with me? What has happened to me that so that I am no longer in favor of expanding our ministry around the area and around the world? Why did I change? This is all happening because it's my fault. I am to blame.

First of all, I think it's highly unlikely that "fixing" me will fix the situation. Maybe I am broken and maybe I need to be corrected - that doesn't take away from the fact that our small faith community is now in need of a full time pastor who can shepherd them. And that's something I'm not. And unless some action is taken, we risk losing not just the name of the old organization, but maybe some of the church goers as well.

Does it really matter who's at fault? In the first place, is there any fault to be placed? Is there any blame to ascribe? Has a crime been committed? Has any wrongdoing been done? All we're talking about is figuring out the next step to give people a brighter spiritual future.

Truth be told, none of this stirring would be happening if I wasn't stirring the pot. And if you look at my history - that seems to be what I've always done (rock the boat). I always settle into some ministry and then at some point, realize that it's not where it's supposed to be and make a dramatic move to get something started - to implement a change. And for the most part, those changes have been good. Check it out:

1. In 1992, we were very active with our home church but somehow felt the calling from God to start something different. God allowed us then to dream and envision a new ministry - and because of that stirring, an extension of our home church in the Philippines was conceived in 1992 and then born by 1994.
2. In 1997, I was wanting to get more involved in our music ministry (having been assigned a different role in the new church) so I was given more responsibilities and eventually became the ministry leader - together with some very gifted people, we elevated the worship ministry to a different level.
3. Some time around the turn of the millennium, my wife was assigned to lead the Children's ministry and she recruited me to help out - so I got involved somehow and helped to organize it. She took if to a different level before passing it on to the next person.
4. By 2002/2003, my oldest daughter was a teen and we found ourselves becoming more passionate about Youth. The council recommended that I pass on the Worship Ministry to the next capable person so that we can take over the Youth Ministry. We rocked the youth and grew it in the 4 years we were there. Today, some of those teens are still very close to our hearts.
5. In 2003/2004, again I was not satisfied with the state of the church and a vision had been placed in my heart to break down barriers and to do something bold - to push the local church towards a higher level of ministry by birthing 2 churches from the one (Yes, I only envisioned 2 churches. It was actually the senior pastor who recommended 3 churches). At any rate, that has come to pass and our church became 3 groups instead of 1.

So here we are again and a stirring is happening. I guess you could say my ministry has always been one of stirring the pot, starting something new. Of course, change is something everyone is uncomfortable with. In all these past endeavors, it has taken a while for everyone to adjust - and just when everyone affected is settling in, here I go again.

One of the biggest changes in my stirring of the pot this time around is this - I no longer feel that my life should revolve around the church ministry. We've come to a point in our lives where we are open to doing ministry outside the church. At the beginning of this year, I found myself excited, even giddy about the prospect of doing the work of the Kingdom of God outside the confines of a church structure. In essence, that's what some of our people are already doing.

Of course, we'll always be connected to the church somehow - regardless of what denomination that is. Our ties to our friends and family go beyond organizational ties...I hope. But at least for the near future, it seems like we'll be more involved with kingdom work rather than church work.

So the change in direction of our faith community isn't because someone failed to do this or did something wrong - it's simply a change. So we have to figure out how to manage that change while we're doing it.