The Blame Game

I was telling a good friend of mine about the situation we're facing as a faith community. He told me that one of the first things that parties from the original organization will ask me is this: what's wrong with me? What has happened to me that so that I am no longer in favor of expanding our ministry around the area and around the world? Why did I change? This is all happening because it's my fault. I am to blame.

First of all, I think it's highly unlikely that "fixing" me will fix the situation. Maybe I am broken and maybe I need to be corrected - that doesn't take away from the fact that our small faith community is now in need of a full time pastor who can shepherd them. And that's something I'm not. And unless some action is taken, we risk losing not just the name of the old organization, but maybe some of the church goers as well.

Does it really matter who's at fault? In the first place, is there any fault to be placed? Is there any blame to ascribe? Has a crime been committed? Has any wrongdoing been done? All we're talking about is figuring out the next step to give people a brighter spiritual future.

Truth be told, none of this stirring would be happening if I wasn't stirring the pot. And if you look at my history - that seems to be what I've always done (rock the boat). I always settle into some ministry and then at some point, realize that it's not where it's supposed to be and make a dramatic move to get something started - to implement a change. And for the most part, those changes have been good. Check it out:

1. In 1992, we were very active with our home church but somehow felt the calling from God to start something different. God allowed us then to dream and envision a new ministry - and because of that stirring, an extension of our home church in the Philippines was conceived in 1992 and then born by 1994.
2. In 1997, I was wanting to get more involved in our music ministry (having been assigned a different role in the new church) so I was given more responsibilities and eventually became the ministry leader - together with some very gifted people, we elevated the worship ministry to a different level.
3. Some time around the turn of the millennium, my wife was assigned to lead the Children's ministry and she recruited me to help out - so I got involved somehow and helped to organize it. She took if to a different level before passing it on to the next person.
4. By 2002/2003, my oldest daughter was a teen and we found ourselves becoming more passionate about Youth. The council recommended that I pass on the Worship Ministry to the next capable person so that we can take over the Youth Ministry. We rocked the youth and grew it in the 4 years we were there. Today, some of those teens are still very close to our hearts.
5. In 2003/2004, again I was not satisfied with the state of the church and a vision had been placed in my heart to break down barriers and to do something bold - to push the local church towards a higher level of ministry by birthing 2 churches from the one (Yes, I only envisioned 2 churches. It was actually the senior pastor who recommended 3 churches). At any rate, that has come to pass and our church became 3 groups instead of 1.

So here we are again and a stirring is happening. I guess you could say my ministry has always been one of stirring the pot, starting something new. Of course, change is something everyone is uncomfortable with. In all these past endeavors, it has taken a while for everyone to adjust - and just when everyone affected is settling in, here I go again.

One of the biggest changes in my stirring of the pot this time around is this - I no longer feel that my life should revolve around the church ministry. We've come to a point in our lives where we are open to doing ministry outside the church. At the beginning of this year, I found myself excited, even giddy about the prospect of doing the work of the Kingdom of God outside the confines of a church structure. In essence, that's what some of our people are already doing.

Of course, we'll always be connected to the church somehow - regardless of what denomination that is. Our ties to our friends and family go beyond organizational ties...I hope. But at least for the near future, it seems like we'll be more involved with kingdom work rather than church work.

So the change in direction of our faith community isn't because someone failed to do this or did something wrong - it's simply a change. So we have to figure out how to manage that change while we're doing it.

Did We Fail?

One of the first questions I was asked when the issue of reorganizing our ministry surfaced was this: How do you assess your own performance as a pastor? At first, I took offense at it because the obvious implication was that we’re closing up shop because I failed the church (and that will probably be the official bi-line for the rest of the organization). So my response was – that’s neither here nor there. Regardless of my performance as a pastor, the fact is that we are in this situation right now where we need to find someone who can give more time and focus to the ministry. And since there are no resources from our ‘denomination’ to draw from, the logical solution was to seek resources from others within the larger Christian community whom we trust. And this is why we sought the assistance of WIN.

There was actually another option – quit and leave the problem up to the organization (who couldn’t fix it anyway). But I chose to stay and find a solution because we remain committed to the people in our community.

But reflecting on that question over the next couple of weeks caused me to reflect on a few more things about life. At first, I admitted to myself that I must have failed as a pastor. After all, pastors take care of their congregations and all pastors grow their churches into large numbers and all pastors multiply their congregations and do church planting…right? Apparently not. Every pastor has his/her journey towards where God wants them to take the people they’ve been entrusted with. If being successful as a pastor means you grow your numbers and multiply your presence in the area over a specific period of time – then yes, I failed (but so has every other pastor in our organization over the past 3 years). Yet many pastors have been successful in doing it. Compared to them, I’m a failure. But if pastoring means creating a community and educating them about the Word of God, causing them to be aware of His work in their lives and especially in society, creating in them an excitement about that work and getting them involved in it – then maybe we’ve experienced some success. We can’t really play the numbers game because there is no objective way to measure cost versus benefit and no way to objectively factor in all that could have been done or should have been done because once again, there is no objective way to factor in where we should have been.

I’ve realized that how we measure success is ultimately a whole lot different than how God does. Is there even a measuring that goes on? It seems like all these performance measures (numbers, finances, saturation, leadership succession, etc) are all part of the same methodologies that churches have been copying from corporate America. In this environment, ministry is measured against results, not against an individual’s heart. Growth is measured against population, not against an individual’s attitudes and effectiveness is measured against biblical literacy - and we all know how inaccurate that is. Our local community may be small and we’re like a ragtag group of bandits making a small dent in the overall work of the Kingdom of God. But in the grand scheme of things, everything is being orchestrated by the Spirit of God – so even as we ministers measure our successes against each other (so we can claim who’s doing a better job than the other), God simply looks at each individual’s heart to see if that person did what they could. He takes care of how big or how small the impact will be (again, if there is such a thing).

So the question still remains. Did I succeed as a pastor over the past 3 years? And the answer is - only God can knows...

Appendix: Key Dates and Key People - a history of WWCF, WIN and NWCM in the Puget Sound

Please take note: this is history from my perspective, some of it factual, some ugly and some could be construed as highly opinionated. This is why I only state what happened, not what I think was wrong with this person or that or who was at fault. I've tried to be objective as much as possible so that at least there is a record out there on the web in case somebody tries to paint things differently.

1980 - Word for the World Christian Fellowship (WWCF) is founded in Makati by Rev. Gerald Halloway, a missionary from the Church of God (Cleveland, TN).

1985 - I get saved...yehey! By this time, WWCF is over 25,000 strong throughout the country.

1987 - Word for the World Hong Kong becomes WWCF's first missions church with Francis Kairuz becoming WWCF's first official missionary outside the country.

1989 - 1992 - WWCF starts establishing churches in the USA through contacts with former members who have migrated tot his country.

1990 - The vision for a WWCF Seattle was born in the heart of Sis. Annie Nepomuceno wife of Ernie Nepomuceno, from Shoreline as she attends a WWCF worship service during a visit to Manila.

1992 - The vision for a WWCF in Seattle is born in the hearts of Rod (Dondi) and Arlene Castillo after they come back from a WWCF retreat in Fresno. Gerald Halloway is there to inspire them that it can be done. Later that year, the Castillos meet the Nepomucenos who are already at work handling an independent bible study in Renton at a cabana managed by Bob/Elsa Waters. Support comes from Ceres Yatco, who was int he same youth batch in WWCF Youth and young adults ministry that Dondi and Arlene were involved with 4 years prior. WWCF Seattle is now a possibility. The group holds its first evangelistic event featuring Gary Valenciano giving a testimony at North Seattle Alliance church and "launching" WWCF Seattle with an altar call from Rev. Edo Miciano (then pastor of the San Francisco WWCF). Rev. Emerito (Babes) Paulate, second in command at WWCF to Bro Gerry starts the legwork to support the group and plan for the eventual sending of a missionary.

1993 - Rev. Chito Cordero, previously the pastor of the WWCF Young Adults, is the chosen one. In the meantime, workers from WWCF-San Francisco are sent monthly to keep the movement alive. A couple of weeks before he sets foot in Seattle, he is diverted towards Los Angeles since that was the place where the need was greater. WWCF-Seattle experiences its first "down" moment and lose half its congregation. In the meantime, two new families are added to the mix: Maxie Acosta moves to Seattle and marries Ceres. Tito and Toni Molina, a couple from Renton also commit to the same vision.

1994 - A new pastor is chosen to come to Seattle. Rev. Dino Miciano, pastor of WWCF in Bicutan, a church of about 300 people, is given the task. His wife Neo and 2 kids, Mikyle and Dominique will migrate as soon as possible. The group in Seattle eagerly await, establishing a fund for support and making arrangements for accommodations.

September 1994 - The Micianos arrive in San Francisco and within a week are in Seattle, welcomed in their new home with a double task - taking care of the Seattle group and watching out for the Vancouver, BC group, which was also in the process of being established.

1996? - A leadership crisis occurs in Manila. More than 2/3 of WWCF's pastors, including Seattle's pastor, leave WWCF and unite under a new organization. They call Bro. Babes who was in the USA at the time, to lead the new organization. Word International Ministries (WIN)is born.

*Disclaimer: Note from 1998 to 2002 are murky for me since I was involved with the north most of this time...the dates may not be exact but the events certainly are accurate.

1998 - 1999* - WIN is experiencing growth under the leadership of Dino Miciano. While many of its attendees live in the north end, a south group is born and starts clamoring for its own base of ministries in that area. Key people that caused the growth were the Waters', Robert and Noreen Graham, Jack and Eileen Suico, Charlie and Candy Coquinco, Art and Lisa Bautista, Rod and Prima Legaspi and others.

1999 - 2000* - Bro. Babes agrees to move to Seattle from Tennessee to become WIN-Seattle's south church pastor.

2001* - WIN South Seattle begins to stand on its own, independent from WIN-Seattle. By this time, WIN Seattle is well established in the China Harbor restaurant with a steady congregation. Under Babes Paulate's leadership, the South church begins to flourish.

2002 - A disagreement over one of the south church's administrative decisions impacting several families leads Bro. Dino Miciano to resign his post as WIN-Seattle pastor and leave the WIN organization (that's a whole 'nother blog). His congregation has no choice but to follow him. NetWork Christian Ministries is born from the same people, location, equipment, resources who were WIN-Seattle. WIN-South Seattle becomes the carrier of the WIN-Seattle name.

Because of the same issue, a few key families who founded WIN South Seattle decide to leave WIN South Seattle and join the NWCM.

2006 - NetWork Christian Ministries extends its reach into the corners of the region - establishing a church in Mountlake Terrace (where the majority of the members ended up), in West Seattle and in Federal Way.

2007 - The church in West Seattle decides to align themselves with the Assemblies of God.

2010 - The church in Federal Way dissolves itself but gives birth to a non-profit organization - Team Evergreen Washington and a new church founded by its youth group (now grown up) called WITH Living.

We all still see each other in the area and we're all interconnected somehow. But it's just awesome to see how God works in the grand scheme of things...we could trace this all the way back to when Gerald Halloway was born - but this is just the portion of history that I encountered.